Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
