If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
