My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
