No stitches, just platelets and will power
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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