so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
