tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
