I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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