Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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