lets start a swedish sibling band together
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
