So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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