i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
