I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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