And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
