areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
