I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
