thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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