I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
