go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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