WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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