Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
