1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
