Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
