I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
