I am in a vortex of obligation.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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