I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
