the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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