Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
