OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
