Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
