Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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