I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize