Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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