Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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