Im at strip club and am horny
My sheets look like a crime scene.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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