I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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