i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
