32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize