I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
