no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
