Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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