we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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