Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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