and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
