so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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