Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
