there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am available for nakedness
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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