so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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