it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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