That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
