We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
