I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
