Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
