So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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