Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
