on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
