I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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