I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
