Screwed.edu
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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