You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
